Gaining Confidence After A Broken Heart

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In our next step down the Turning Pain into Profits Module, we’re watching a video from Colette Davenport, our Moms Wear Capes expert on Confidence and Intimacy.

In our interview, Colette recalls a friend telling her, “Colette your superpower is your confidence. You know how to be confident when the shit is breaking down around you. You somehow have this extraordinary positive attitude and you wake up able to take the actions to overcome the challenges. And that is not normal.”

Colette responded with the observation that most of us will check out when SHTF.  We shut down.  Another glass of wine.  Drugs.  Chocolate.  

And honestly, we’ve all been there!

But the hard truth is that numbing out or checking out won’t help us escape our pain indefinitely; it merely disguises it.

Then when you least expect it: BAM!  You’re screaming at your toddler or kicking your dog or berating your husband.

In order to really come into our presence as Superwomen, we must face the traumas in our life and rise above them with confidence.

In today’s exercise, your challenge is to write down three to five ways you’ve numbed pain in the past.  

For me, I’ve notoriously gained weight during breakups by drinking too much wine, eating too many salty treats, and becoming generally lethargic.

During other times, I’ve avoided facing my pain by burying it, only to have it come up with rage at a later date.

Still other times, I’ve busied myself with social events and work to avoid feeling pain.

Once you’ve identified three to five ways you’ve hid your pain from the Light, come up with a plan for next time you’re in pain.

The next time you are hurt, have a plan that you can follow, step-by-step, to make sure you’ve embracing your feelings.  They ARE worthy!

Here’s my plan:

The next time I feel pain I’ll…

  1. Go on an intentional health food fast.  I’ll avoid wine, late-night snacking, and carb-heavy highly-processed diets.  I’ll do this to make sure my brain is firing on all cylinders.
  2. Spend time meditating with a vengeance.  I find that when I dedicate just ten minutes a day to meditation, it radically transforms my ability to hear my inner voice and separate myself from painful situations.
  3. Call an advisor.  I have a life coach in Aspen who always gets a call from me when SHTF.  She’s amazing at putting things into perspective.
  4. Repeat my confidence mantras three times a day.  (See Day 2)
  5. Contact my offender before making assumptions.  I know that assumptions are a form of poison.  Before I assume I know somebody’s intentions or whereabouts, I’ll call that person and communicate my concerns with them.  My pain deserves a voice.  My pain deserves space.  I am worthy of having that voice.

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